1 post tagged “changes”

"What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love thats what matters. That's the only thing that counts."

So I just got back from seeing the movie "The Last Kiss" with Zach Braff. It was a good movie, in my opinion (although the people I went with may disgaree with me). I just needed to cry, and some of the things in it just brought me to tears.

That quote brought up a lot of things in me. I've only just come to realize that I really do treat people that I like & love horribly. I make fun of them (even though I think they can take the teasing), I have a tendency to make things revolve around me, I complain alot to get my way and if I don't get my way I 'pout'. I feed into gossip and lies; it's what my high school life revolved around. I can portray myself as this selfless person to everyone and that I care about everything, but once people get to know me they don't neccessarily like what they find and then they leave me/my life. That's pathetic. Am I really as two faced as I'm sitting here saying?

My best friends and those around me know how to 'handle' me when I'm in my moods. They know not to feed into it and to just leave me be...but what if a person doesn't know? I suppose as time goes on, people get to know the real person inside but my problem is, I'm really not liking that person inside.

So it's time to change.

I'm not doing this for anyone specific, even though some people were the ones who really made me see this within myself...I'm doing this for me. I would never change who I am for anyone besides myself.

Where did I go wrong I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness, and I would have stayed up with you all night had I known, How To Save A Life.