Posts (page 2)

What song or lyrics are stuck in your head at the moment?  What album is it from?
Submitted by Lox Ly. 

"For Good" from the Musical Wicked ... I have no idea why, but the lines:

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.

Are stuck in my head today.

If you need me, call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far, don't worry baby, just call my name, I'll be there in a hurry, you don't have to worry, cause baby there ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from getting to you babe.

I could not be more excited for the next three days. They are going to be so long, but I have so much excitment and enthusiasm in store; I just hope that the others in my group feel the same way. I think it helps that I met one of my kids on PREVIEW; so I at least know someone! And from the e-mails I got in response to my letters, they all seem excited. I just hope that I can keep them all motivated to stay for the entire orientation. I don't want to loose any of them! I would take it personally if I did. I have had training for my job from 9-5 today and yesterday. They were two of the longest days ever because it was a lot of information thrown at us, all at once. But it helped to get to know the people in the other groups and those around me, and I can honestly say that I felt content with just sitting in the room with all the energy of everyone around me. That sounds so stupid, but it's the truth. Everyone there (for the most part...minus a few) wants to be there and is thrilled to take this on and are excited to meet their mentees. It really built up my excitement to meet mine, if that's even possible (because, let's face it, I was REALLY excited). As excited (yes I'm using that word alot) as I am, I can't help but feel a little bit scared. All the "what if they don't like me?" types of things come to mind...but it's life. Not everyone is going to like you, but keep a smile on your face and try not to give them one reason not to like you. Anyone who's ever met me for the first time typically notices my energy and smile. My smile is one of the few physical features that I love about myself and I am more than happy to share it with other people. A woman at work once told me that it was God's gift to me, that it is truely a blessing. I had tears in my eyes as she told me that. God has given me many blessings in my life...my family, my friends, my health, my music, among others.

I don't know where I was going with all of this, but needless to say, I am loving my job. I'm helping tomorrow with move in so I really need to get to bed. Night!

"We're old." Barb said to me as I was leaving tonight. She's right. As Carrie was sitting next to me today at the wedding and crying, I couldn't believe that we were witnessing one of our close friends in high school getting married to the man she had been engaged to since 2004. On the way to the church I was in shock. I'm only 19 years old! She's only 19! She's getting married! She's having a baby! I've never had a relationship last more than three months and people have already found their soulmates, the ones they want to be with for the rest of their lives. It was depressing in a way to sit there and watch Barb and Tim dance their first dance, but in another way: I AM only 19. I have a long life ahead of me and many future relationships to have. So I guess I'm going off what the Ataris said...

"Being grown up, isn't half as fun as growing up, these are the best days of our lives. The only thing that matters is just following your heart, and eventually you'll finally get it right."

I am off to bed because it's been a long, but fun day!

So today was one of those days that I was grinning for most of the day. Every year I help out at my mom's beginner band camp (as I've already said) and today she decided to go out to lunch with a friend, thus leaving me with her car. Her Spyder Eclipse Convertiable, in red. I've driven it twice...once with her in it, and then she let me drive it to graduation. I was in possession of it for one whole hour. This thing is my mom's baby, so for her to trust me driving it was amazing. Ha. Katie and I decided to go get lunch. Instead of her driving to meet me some place, I said I'd come pick her up. I pulled into her driveway and said, "did I mention I'm driving the convertiable?" and we had a great time singing to All American Rejects with the top down and the wind blowing in our hair. It was such a simple pleasure, it really was. There's so many little things that just make me smile for an entire day. I can't even begin to name them all. My smile is something that I constantly share with everyone. These are the days I'm going to miss when I go back to school, just cruising around with my girl(s). My plans have drastically changed for this week, and it saddens me, but excites me all the same. I was supposed to go to the Amber Pacific concert at the Rave on Thursday with Kay, Jason and Katie. But a few days ago Jason informed me that he couldn't go...it made me sad, but he reasoning is perfectly understandable. I decided to save money and not go also, in which case, caused a domino effect, and Kayla said she didn't want to go because I wasn't going, and Katie obviously wasn't going to go alone. Then on Saturday I was going to go to Six Flags with Ang, Jessie and Katie. After figuring it all out, the trip would cost me around $75 and I am not making enough at my job to just randomly go to Chicago. Plus, that's my last day home and I am not even close to being ready to move back in. So that knocked everything out, but is saving me a ton of money. So now, tomorrow I'm going out to lunch with Adam (yay!!!) and then going to Whitewater to go job hunting with Tracey. Friday is Barb's wedding, which I could not be more excited about. Yay for a night filled with old friends and Johnie G! ha. Once again, simple pleasures. Getting dressed up and looking pretty for one night.

But as for me now, I am off to bed. I know no one reads this, but I enjoy writing in a public place. I'm used to my livejournal where I friend all entries, so no one can see them except those on my friends list. They're all about drama and boys. So this is my "happy blog", haha.

Night!

those notes you wrote me, i've kept them all, i've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall, with every single letter, in every single word, there will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl, do you care if i don't know what to say, will you sleep tonight or will you think of me? will i shake this off, pretend it's all okay, that there's someone out there whol feels just like me, there is.

Take a picture of something that someone put a sticker on.

I posted this on Livejournal and Myspace, and I wanted to post it here...

Yesterday I Cried

Through out our many experiences of life, we cry different kinds of tears. What we are probably not aware of is that each type of tear comes from a specific place in the body and that each type has certain distinct characteristics. We may realize that shedding tears at certain times will have a particular effect upon us and those around us. what we are probably less conscious of is that each tear regardless of its origin or its effects contains a seed of healing.

Angry tears spill forth from the outside corner of the eye, makeing them easier to wipe away as they come at unexpected moments and inapropriate times. they originate in the ego-the part of our being that presents to the world who we think we are. Angry tears create heat and stiffness in the body because when we are angry we usually dont know how to express what we feel. We definitely dont want anyone to know when we are angry, because anger is not acceptable or polite. Rather than display anger we hold back and the tears rage forth, shattering our self-image. More important angry tears reveal those around us our vulnerabilities. This we believe is not a wise thing to do.

Sad tears spill forth from the inside corner of the eye, finding their way across our nose, cheeks and lips. For some reason we always lick sad tears. We know that they are salty, and the things that bring them forth are usually the bitter experiences in life. Sad tears come from the heart. They usually bring a bending of the shoulders and a drooping of the head.

Frightened tears take up the entire eye,. clouding our vision as fear will do. When we are frightened we cannot see or think. Frightened tears are usually big tears that well up in the eye. they spill over the whole face. frightened tears come from the soles of the feet. They shoot through the body and create trembling and shaking.

Then there are shame-filled tears which fall when we are alone with our thoughts and feelings. Shame-filled tears come when we're judging ourselves, criticizing ourselves, or beating up on ourselves for something purely human that we have done yet cant explain to ourselves or to others. Shame-filled tears come from the pit of the stomach and usually cause us to bend over-not in pain, but in anguish.

Combination tears the worst tears of all. They are filled with anger and sadness with fear and shame. they have a devastating effect on the body bringing the stiffness of anger the drooping of sadness, the trembling of fear and the bending of shame. They make you cold when you are hot. They make you tremble when you are trying to keep still. Most of all they make you nauseated.

The unshed tears of our many experiences color and cloud our thoughts. as we try to move forward without allowing the tears to flow freely we find ourselves repeatedly in similar experiences. Sitting in that place, a familiar place. A frightening, sad, and angry place. Trying to suppress the tears of the things you had said and had not said. Tears of things You had done, and now needed to undo. Unshed tears get caught in our throats making it hard for us to speak our truth and honestly express who we are as we move through life.

-Iyanla Vanzant- Yesterday I Cried

Well allow me to get used to the whole vox thing...I enjoy the fact that you can add your favorite books and music. It's rather fun. I've been looking for something else to post in publicly just for the heck of it. I have my livejournal and I have my myspace blogs...but this seems unique. And even moreso unique in the fact that you have to have an invite code. I remember when you had to have an invite code for livejournal. Those were the days! So where to begin...

I move into school in a week. I've been looking forward to this day for quite sometime and I don't know why. I think it's because I miss the freedom of school. Of waking up to an empty room and knowing that my parents aren't sitting at the kitchen table when I wake up. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and my family; but there's just the experience of college that I loved so much my freshman year that's making me want to return back. I, however, do not want to leave Slinger. At all. Everyone's here, and they have been for the entire summer and yet I was stupid and didn't do anything with anyone (other than a few specific people) and then realized that I wanted to hang out with others and am now crammed for the amount of time I have to see everyone. I made every effort to stay close friends with a lot of people back home during school and now that I'm home, I haven't really called anyone. Eric specifically. He and I would call each other whenever we wanted someone to talk to on the walk back from class or in between classes. It was a weekly/every 2 week type thing; and then we got home and didn't call each other at all. Amazing how that turns out. There's quite a few people in high school that I loved and wanted to keep in contact with and I can honestly say that I think I've achieved keeping in contact fairly well (thanks to facebook and myspace mainly!) I don't know...high school was so long ago already and it's a crazy thought! Sitting at graduation watching "my babies" walk across the stage was so surreal for me. In high school I don't think I really was in a group. It's weird. I always get picked on by Ang and Kay for my "social status" in high school. Kayla and I were talking yesterday about how neither of us really knew how we ended up being best friends. I think it's because we're just such opposites, that we balance out each other. I was always one to walk down the hallway with a smile on my face and people would say hi to me. And if I wasn't smiling, people whom I never really talked to before would come up and ask me what was wrong. And now I'm getting off on my "I miss high school" rant; so I'll stop. Needless to say: I miss my friends at college and once I get back I'll miss my Slinger friends - so I can't win. Either way, I'm very excited for the new semester, especially my new job.

I've talked about it a ton...I think that's one of the reasons why I'm not scared to start fresh. Because I have to be a positive role model for the 22 incoming freshman that have me as their peer mentor. My day can go from the worst ever to the best yet because of getting an e-mail saying that their excited for orientation. Everything's going to be different this fall...I've got a new job, a new boyfriend, a new roommate, a new major/minor, but I'm still the same old me. Which is what made my first year so wonderful, so here's to hoping for the best and getting the best in the Fall semester of 2006!

Tomorrow starts 6th Grade Beginner Band Camp that I help out with every year for my mom. I've been doing it since I was in 7th grade and each year I anticipate it even more. I think it's because the same volunteers come back every year. I only get to see some of them for this week long time period and then we all go to different colleges. It's weird to think that this is really my last week at home. This Sunday was the last full Sunday that I will be home. I did this my senior year..."the last first day of school" and blah blah blah. I've been talking so much about how much I want to get back to college; and by college I mean the college LIFE. I am not looking forward to my classes at all. I'm excited to learn stuff, but I don't have that much confidence in myself. I switched from pre-business to social work. All my friends that I made last year popped up in my 2nd semester classes because we were all the same major. So basically: I don't really have any friends that will be in any of my classes. So this promises to be fun! I'm a social person...I'll manage. :D

I don't know of anything else I could babble about...although I'm sure I could find something. However, I need to get to bed because I have to be up at 7am to be ready for Band Camp!

Here's to new beginnings!